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Written by Aaron Sparks
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Sunday, 22 February 2009 16:54 |
The World bombards us with messages that sex is good outside of marriage. They may even try to parade the lie that sex is somehow better outside of marriage. Notice: I called this an outright lie, crafted skillfully by the linguistic lying professional, Satan! The popular lie among young people is that you have to sleep with someone before you marry them to see if they are a good enough lover! Non-Christian counselors have even been known to advise married couples to have an affair to somehow improve the relationship (I’ve even heard of one recommending a visit to a prostitute!). Can anyone tell me how that makes any sense at all?
Well, if you can at the moment... you won’t be able to after I tell you why you should wait until you get married to have sex (that is, if your brain is actually engaged).
The CDC (Center for Disease Control) has released some interesting statistics in 2007 that don’t lie! They found that 1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD as reported by their doctor. They estimate that this figure is actually much higher because not everyone goes to the doctor, and not all that go to the doctor report any symptoms and it goes on undetected. That’s a scary statistic! Check out http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats07/adol.htm for even more scary statistics if that didn’t scare you away. This doesn’t even mention males.
So, I’m going to narrow down the STDs to one prominent one... Herpes. You know those commercials on TV? They feature a couple enjoying a romantic vacation somewhere. What the commercial doesn’t tell you is that whatever the medication it is they’re selling doesn’t cure Herpes. It doesn’t even prevent it from passing on to another. It’s only supposed to reduce flare ups. Even if Herpes isn’t currently showing (in the middle of a flare up) it’s still contagious. And those flare ups aren’t necessarily comfortable either... why do you think they can sell that medication so well?
Sadly the statistics for Christians engaging in sex before marriage isn’t much different from their non-Christian counterparts. It’s only a few percentage points off. Some Christians have even spread the lie that oral sex doesn’t count as sex. I was going to save this for my “How Far is Too Far” article for next week, but I thought it best to bring it up now.
Back to the topic of Herpes... did you know that Herpes is tranferrable from the genitals to the mouth and vice-versa? Ever hear of Cold Sores? Yeah... that’s right... Herpes. Might make you think twice about kissing someone before marrying them, too! It’s scary how prevalent STDs are in our current time. Makes me hope that there’s a girl out there saving themselves for Josiah in the future, let alone having parents that are free from STDs that would pass on to the child.
Are you beginning to see that the only safe sex is abstainance? I hope so, because even using a condom is not assurance that you’re safe from contracting an STD. If it can’t even prevent pregnancies in some cases... then how is it going to stop even smaller viruses that can pass through the microscopic holes in the latex. Yep... condoms have holes that allow certain things to pass right on through. I’ll say it again... the only safe sex is abstainance or waiting until marriage to another who has kept themselves pure as well. Marry carefully!
Don’t let the World fool you into thinking that these STDs are mere ailments like a common cold. These things are mostly incurable!
I’ve not even gotten into the risk of pregnancy, and the emotional and psychological risks that are involved here, yet.
Dr. Kevin Leman (a Christian counselor whose written many books on Marriage and Sex) confronts the situation that he all too oftens sees where one spouse or both had not waited until marriage to have sex. He relates this to having luggage with a tag for every trip he’s ever taken. Each tag reminds him of trips past, because he doesn’t take them off. When you have multiple sexual partners... you’re just adding on luggage tags. And it’s difficult to remove these “tags”.
Unfortunately, those memories of past partners stick with you. And you don’t want to be thinking about a past boyfriend/girlfriend when you’re with your husband/wife. Dr. Kevin Leman suggests even seeing a counselor about these issues if you have had past sexual relations before marriage. It would be convenient to briefly mention pornography here... do you want that to creep into your memory as well?
Even if you, somehow, can be sure that you will marry the person you are with currently... the guilt, and spiritual damage you’ll carry into your marriage can have a negative effect on your sexual health as a married couple. It’s just not even worth “practicing” before marriage.
Dr. Kevin Leman said he often hands a violin to newlyweds (people who have never touched a violin) and tells them to play it. The sound that follows is undoubtedly awful. To be honest, when you first get married... it will be that way. But over time, you learn your spouse for life and begin to make beautiful music together. Don’t think that because you have lots of experience, or marry someone with lots of experience it will mean great sex. Oftentimes, it means just the opposite. It can actually hinder a marriage, because everyone is different in their likes and dislikes. It takes years with the same person. And like a violin... with age the tone gets sweeter and sweeter.
Please, I ask again... talk with your parents about these things and check them out to be true! Learn from the wisdom of the ages. I wouldn’t lie to you or try to keep you from having fun. In fact, I’m telling you so that you can have the best time of your life... later on in life when you are married. I’m telling you, because the World is lying to you. And yes, it’s still a lie if they withhold the information from you. I’m just trying to inform you of just a few reasons out of many more why to wait until marriage to have sex. After marriage... fair game. Before marriage... a gamble and a long dark guilt ridden road full of regrets and potholes. Don’t find yourself saying, “If only I had just waited...”
-Aaron ✌♥n☧ |
