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Written by Aaron Sparks
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Sunday, 08 March 2009 08:53 |
Imagine yourself in an old beat up car. If you’re a guy you might think, “This has a lot of promise. Maybe I can renovate it and make it a pretty sweet ride.” If you’re a girl you might think, “Why did my parents get me a deathtrap?!?” Now in this car, you realize that the brakes are in as good of shape as the rest of the car looks. Let me qualify that for you... the brakes would work better if you had a hole in the floorboard (which it does) to stop the car with your feet Flintstone-style. You come across a gradual hill going downwards and it stretches on for five city blocks! You begin to think to yourself, “I wonder how fast I can get this thing going?” But before you take off down the hill you realize this hill dead-ends with a drop-off cliff. How far down the road do you want to go before you slow down and turn down another street?
Seemingly random physics lesson: 1) An object in motion tends to stay in motion. 2) Momentum is the sum of velocity times mass. Basically, I could have included a few more Physics rules for you, but I want to get to the point... the further down that hill you go, the faster you go and the less distance you have to stop at the bottom of the hill. Also, big heavy cars don’t turn very well going fast.
Inevitably, when talking about sex, the question gets asked, “How far is too far?” Honestly, to ask that question is like asking the question, “How far can I go down this hill in a car with no brakes?” The old car with no brakes is the best example I can think of currently. The further you decide to go, the more difficult it is to stop before you’ve gone further than you intended to go. You might have drawn a line somewhere, but the closer you get to that line, the easier it is to cross it, and the harder it is to stop before it. You may find that you start to draw new lines further down the road, because it’s fun to go fast... at least until you crash.
Maybe, the question shouldn’t be “How far is too far?”, but “What do I want to save until marriage?” What do you want to share with that husband/wife that you’ve never done with anyone else before? The more you want to share, the more of a blessing it is to you both. I know of couples who have actually decided to wait until their wedding day to kiss. The oldest son of the Duggars, a family that stars in a TLC show called “Eighteen and Counting”, and his fiancée (now wife) decided to make that commitment to each other. I’m not saying this is the boundary that you have to draw, but it is a safe one!
As a general rule, it’s good to discuss what boundaries you are going to have with your boyfriend/girlfriend before you even go there. If you haven’t done, it quickly becomes a difficult time to talk about it when your mind is fighting itself. One of the best boundaries to have is to make it a point to not be alone together anywhere. Not in a house, room, car, park, etc. Satan loves to take advantage of situations like that. Double date if you need to... even if it’s with your parents. When it comes to matters of sin, Jesus tries to get the point across that we should do whatever it takes to avoid sin... even gouging an eye out if necessary (Matt 5:29, 18:9). I’m not going to set the boundary for you... this is a heart issue. If you desire purity of heart, you will act appropriately.
By the way, it doesn’t matter how “strong” you think you are. If you think you’re “strong” in this area and can put yourself in compromising situations, definitely watch out, because Satan would love to knock out that confidence and claim you as his.
However far you decide to take things... remember that you’re taking away something from your future spouse to experience with you. In fact, it might be good to go ahead and think in future terms of your husband/wife.
Paul amazes me. For a guy who has never married, he sure has a lot to say about marriage that makes a lot of sense.
“The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.” 1 Cor 7:4
That verse, in context, means that married people shouldn’t think of their bodies as their own, but each other’s. It’s extending the idea that “the two shall become one flesh”. Maybe you shouldn’t think of your body now as your own, even though your are yet unmarried. Think of it as your future spouse’s. What do you want to save for them and be able to say, “I’ve never done this with anybody else...”
In fact... maybe it’s best to think of your body as property of God. Those who have been baptized were bought back with the blood of Christ as payment. And as a deposit of that purchase, God has given us his Holy Spirit to dwell in us. Remember that passage...
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” -1 Cor. 6:18-20
Notice how Paul says “Flee” from it? Remind you of anything? Old Testament? Joseph and Potiphar’s wife (Gen 39:6-12)! Do you guys remember that story? Joseph got out of there as quick as he could, not even bothering to stop and say goodbye. Sometimes, that might be what you have to do... quickly. Don’t hesitate. Get out of the situation ASAP. Save yourself, for you and your future spouse’s sake. -Aaron ✌♥n☧ |
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